me and my fears

You know october will become my fear about anything. But actually is not about the thing itself but also about the preparation.

1. About my friends wedding

My friend's wedding will be celebrated on 1 october and she decided to organize all the wedding by herself without EO. That's awesome, this wedding celebrated in singapore and outdoor. This idea for me it's really great.. But the process to make it come true a bit miraculous, and magically since she want to make all by herself from the invitation, souvenir, decoration on the day. Actually its not possible, but the way she create this event to become all the people's event is not easy.

Til this day, It doesnt mean all runs ok since actually some friend doesnt feel happy with the way she bring all wedding thing to us at anytime, anywhere, and anything. :D Our conversation behind her, "Please deh, that's ur wedding.. Why u need to make urself and ours troublesome" And we just feel a bit frustated about how the way she treat his fiancee with madness, rude words, and pressure other's people with her things.

Actually, this is not my feeling, It just the result from girls discussion without her. And we called her as bridezilla. Maybe bride's feeling near the wedding day :D

For me, all become messy at the preparation but in the end, we are friend that will support till that day. Bcause we dont want she will be sad, and dissapointed for this experience. Check this out. But i should prepare my mentally for all of this that will happen til that day. =.='

More than that, on that day i still need to continue to Jakarta to attend others wedding.. What a tired day enw.. T.T

2. My Trip to Europe

It's more than that. I am stupid enough lha.. Even i realize my trip to Europe too sudden, but i still want it comes true. Maybe its ego.. Holiday is not easy man, Its take all my money and space in brain. There are many pressure that i have for this idea.

Firstly, i'll go with 5 people that they has habit to go abroad for holiday. They have gone to Cambodia, Thailand, Penang, and many others place. So i trust this idea will be grateful, but in the end 1 decided not to go, the other 2 also, and now the other 1 also not. So currently only 2 people that will go. Crazyyy!!! And thats very bad happen also, i tot i want to go europe and visit my friend at netherland, oh man she help me to give the invitation from netherlands, but in the end so sad she will stop her study at that place and will back for good. :'( although i dont like it, but it still her decision that probably good for herself.

And now, i a bit panic because of my visa applying. I dont know whether it approved or rijected, i still afraid of it. Although many people can say that it should be approved why they need to riject it, But i still have fear since my account history is not good and also many inconsistency in the application like my friend said that the cost will become my responsibility, but for staying will be accomodated by my friends. And the day will be on monday, i'll know the result. Oooo God, please let me become strong whatever the result.. My wish, If it approved i hope i can go to Lourdes. Give me strength to face all my fears.

I realize that world is really spin, since my feeling everytime always change from happy, thankful, hope, worry, dissapointed, angry.. But let me be the human that never feel desperate. \(^.^)/