My new life @spore

I don't know why i said as my new life. I have lived here for 3 month, i expected that as my adaption and my probation. There is possibility to myself back to indo because of my work or can stand live at here mybe:p

i already get my confirmation, although the salary still the same. Then i buy i phone by my cousin's name. Then i formatted my computer with windows seven. All my old data already moved on to mobile harddisk. And then my i phone just powerful except the battery. I never to afraid for feeling lost at sing, feeling bored at mrt, already installed all that needed. If there is internet connection, dont worry:)

but new mrt route circle line already run. I can use mrt till my office, before i need to take bus. But negatively becomes i didn't get seat in the morning and going home. There is a lot of people.

i got sick, i didn't really know why i sick badly. Sore throat and cough, make my friend's at hole sick too:d

i realize that i really have new life at spore, because all experience that i have.. And i need to improve mine,seems i already at comfortable zone. Starting becomes lazy.. >..< helppp mee..

Holiday without english language

Holiday will be ends.. :P

My holiday is fun, and tiring.. friday, start with going to church in the morning, and feel dizzy after that so i went home for sleeping, then lazyness at home with githa(my roomate). And then went to Toa Payoh Garden from my home at braddel. she said we will walk 3 times, like doing sports.. :p I only can said yes, but after that at Toa Payoh the cloud becomes dark and drizzle.. So we went to Toa Payoh, decided to walk arround at mall.. After walk, we went to fair price to shopping food.. Then go home with our weekly expenditure.. so heavy with cleaner for cloth 3 kilo, pokka for drink 2 bottle.. at last arrived at home, we move on the stuff to exactly place.. After that, see home so messy, i take broom and clean home. Githa continue to mopping.. And our home rental becomes cleaner :) It's really good..

Then, on Saturday .. In the morning,my friend Ivana went to market.. After that, we are busy to cooking, help a little that i cannot cook :D Then, her friend come and eat and eat and drink and drink.. Then finally, they go home and we go to movie cinema at dhoby goat to watching Clash of Titans. After that, go to Vivocity to see my cousins Meta and eat for dinner, then go to Michael Hotel to see my aunty there, and cannot see my uncle since he is busy at casino.. :D Then till the time, 11.30 i go home, running for the last train. Finally come at home 12.30 maybe... WoW so tired and sleep.

In the afternoon, i wake up at 10a.m and wake up eating and other. Till my roomate githa ask me to eat at dhoby goat for sushi that cheap before the price is up twenty sen. Then go to see the park mall, she survey for architecture stuff.. After that, walk to somerset, see arround.. Then i went to bukit gombak to see my other aunty.. My aunty bring some food for me, indomie and other that i order to my mother :) And then go homeeee late again.. My holiday is very busy.. :P

But all, i contact will all indonesia.. O ya, here seems i look at a lot of indonesia, seems i see susanti my high school friend, and astrid, my friend at binus.. But, i didn't want to call them.. I am afraid to be wrong :D Truly, there is a lot of indonesian here.. :D

Tommorowwww,, woooorrrkkk againnnnn, ouchhh nooo.. Give me strength god, :) Work is fun, fun fun fun.. :)

What i want, what i need.. me too usual..

Realizing, that my blog all the content about hope, and grumble..Seems that i write the blog when i feel abstract.. Where am I now ? as quality human ?

I don't know where i am.. what i feel.. Like live just for live till the time ends.. What things that supposed i do, just need to make my parent proud.. That's all..

What supposed i do for myself ? still nothing, only walk arround.. i dont have a dream.. When i see arround, my friend learn mandarin, take S2, other take many vacation, my roommate get the scholarship to Netherland.. For me, after move on to singapore still feeling nonexistent..

I don't have any idea, what supposed i do.. Really dunno.. God, what should i do ? Give me the spirit! Spirit come come come.. I want to die.. Really not wisee.. :'(

Why, i always try becomes kind.. unruly.. Don't ask why.. but How..

:) Keep Smile

Considering today as horrible day

I just feeling afraid, everyday when i go to office.. Just thinking what will happen today..

Just feeling like that useless to recruit me or not, because there is no benefit for the company.. But need to be thanksful for being lucky, can work here and see many kind people.. Althought if my probation will not succeed, but need to be positive.. The first one should i do is taking an english course, and speak english.. What is me? seonggok manusia bodoh yg suka melakukan hal bodoh.. Today, my card to go in the office is lost, Today is Salary day. Likes the time this is the end, you dont need to work anymore.. HuHuHuuuuUuuuuuuuuuu... T.T - I hope this is only my negative thinking..

And then, my family again.. why problem never ends, i just calling my mother today.. Like she is so stress :( because of my brother is easily to be angry.. His wife is sick, and still dont know what ill that she have.. Life becomes not easy.. God, Mother Mary just need you to protect my family..

Why my family, like have many disaster. All have a problem becomes family, didn't want to make family... :'( But, so owe see the family that happy with kids..

Today is really bad day, but keep me strong God.. Dont let me becomes down, i want to be someone.. Please let me became someone that have character..

me, gundah

Aku ingin menangis malam ini..

Thank you for being there for me. Although i know, that your life is harder than me. Your load that you should assure more heavy than me.. But truly, my gratitude that you really care to me, although sometimes i talk rush to you.. Hope you and your family will be on alright.

Somebody out there, where are you. Do you like me or not. Why are you do nothing? why? Do i really ignore you ? :D

Somebody from my memories, sometimes i remember about you. i just want to at least same to you. i don't like more weak than you. Althought it's seems like that.

God, give me a chance.. I want to be survivor..

There is not perfect life, perfect company, perfect soulmate, perfect family.. Please be realistic..

I am really sorry, that i am not kind..

Ragu & Takut..

Tuhan, aku takut..
Tuhan, Bimbing aku..
Tuhan, aku takut..
Tuhan, Kuatkan aku..
Tuhan, aku takut..
Tuhan, Buat aku Tegar..
Tuhan, aku takut..
Tuhan, Jadikan aku sesuai Rencana-Mu..
Tuhan, aku takut..
Tuhan, Tetaplah di sampingku..

Bunda, aku lemah..
Bunda, aku bodoh..
Bunda, aku pesimis..
Bunda, aku tak bersemangat..
Bunda, aku hanya memikirkan kesenangan..
Bundaaa, Ajari Aku menjadi kuat menjalani hari-hari besok ku hingga deadline itu tiba..

Aminnn..
kupercaya, ku akan kuat..
kupercaya, ku akan bisa..
kupercaya, ku akan mampu..
kupercaya, ku akan sanggup..
ber-juang dengan lelahku, usahaku, niatku, dan doa..

Ajariku berdoa..

Busy & some thinking..

My weekend so tired.. Saturday i went to cathay at Orcard watching hachiko, and then look around at Orchard with Juli. Juli buy something for souvenir, and i buy 2 flat shoes..:P Hope the shoes make me comfortable on singapore.. A lot of walking.. :p And then, after that i was going to swimming with many stuff that will be saved on locker. I like spore very much, because when i go to swimming pool. All registered by marchine... You can only insert the money to come to swimming pool. Yesterday is so tired..

At Sunday, Today i went to St Theresa Church with Reynard, my cousin. And then eat lunch, and continue with watching 14 blades at golden village Vivocity. Thank you Re.. :) And see Julius at St John Church, i went to church for second ^^ And then i went to take dinner and walk arround at china town, to see many things.. It's fun but so tired, my foot so "pegal".. Dun't find the exactly word.. :P

And i dont know... Sometimes, i am thinking that i am so busy with walking arround, don't concentrate with my job. I am so afraid, that i cann't survive for the probation. Really feel scary, because my boss somehow don't really care with me.. I feel that my language suppose to be increased fast.. but HOW ? Talk to me.. HOW HOW HOW.. i try to listening with watching movie at cinema / television. But somehow, only that is not enough.. aAaaaaa, i must have a big of bravery.. Please give that spirit, holy mary..

Don't let this opportunity become useless.. *keep praying*

Let's pray.. :)

Doa Santa Maria in English
Hail Mary, full of grace,
our Lord is with thee,
blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God,
pray for us sinners, now, and in
the hour of our death.
Amen.

Doa Bapa Kami in English
Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done,
On Earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
[For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.]
Amen.
Hope i can pray with english.. :)

My Transformation is more exactly than Revolution

Big Thanks to My God, Jesus and My Holy Mary..

I really thanksful that my prayer is accepted.. I can go work to singapore.. I have been pray from more than one year ago. Althought i almost forget with my dream, but in the end how luckily i get what i dream for.. I believe that what i ask to god, god will answer slowly or fast..

My Transformation happened on december 2009, and become reality on January 2010.. What is my purpose to be here ?

Singapore, in this country i want to breath clearly than my office and my country..
Singapore, in this country i try to make my parent proud..
Singapore, in this country i learn to be independent again after 2 years..
Singapore, in this country i will learn an english.. although maybe it can be singlish.. :P
Singapore, in this country i want to earn money more than indo..
Singapore, in this country i hope to find boyfriends and making relationship, maybe also makeing family

It starts from hope , maybe need some effort , a lot of praying... but i frequently absent.. >.<
but hope is hope..
Effort is talk a lot in english, be confident, hardworker, adaptation, learn to sharing, socialization at my home..
pray is pray, to be active to the church.. :p

Holy Mary, bless me..
God, bless me..
and also my Family, Thank a lot to my parent, brother, sister, om siang & family, Tante ani & Family, Davin & Family, Tante me & Family, and the best support from my grand mother, Oma.. :)

Efek umur terhadap kehidupan kamu

Hu.hu.hu Entah knp stlh sperempat abad, dan setelah kerja selama 2 tahun. Aku merasa ada yg berbeda. Dari sisi stamina, gairah kerja, dll.. Why happen with my body ? seperti mudah lelah. mudah masuk angin. uda ga tahan lg makan pedas2. merasa malas aka jenuh. hu.hu.hu.. saia sedang beradaptasi dengan pekerjaan baru, yg sptny akan melelahkan.. like work hard play hard. tapi merasa blm bisa menyesuaikan diri dengan baik.. smoga esok akan lebih baik.. -amin- give a strength god, please.. i dunt have enough motivation for working.. uoOoo >.<

Friday, 11 September

This Afternoon at the offices.. i am feel so sooo stupid... feel so lazy too.. feel guilty too.. feel so sad too.. how come this feeling always be with me..

i feel so stupid becoz of my work for my project task.. i am work the project lately becoz i feel that this project without implement, and the new programmer make me use more effort.. huh..

i feel so lazy becoz of this is friday.. the day before saturday.. the day that my offices treat the employee at hanamasa.. hohoho.. and also one week before holiday (lebaran mode ON).. cann't wait till the dinner timeeee... :D

and alsooo i feel guilty becoz of mine is so freaky... i have waste the money ... my thr is gone gone gone... hua :'( i am sorry to my family, that i am to freaky for wasting the money for stuff or for food... i feel free a little when i say to my friend... how come the money is so fast become empty.. :D

and damnnn, today i realize that people at the office realize something for the first day after the holiday... arrghhh.. i hope that i can absent for the day, but my boss cann't let me absent bcoz the other people celebrate lebaran and i am not.. and then i hope that all the people absent, so the office will be a few people.... waaa.. but i hate there is people make other realize... >.< when the day, there will be somebody dun me... maybe my boss.. hoho..

i am so sad.. that realize that the topic at the lunch make me sad. that my friends will be gone awayy... hiks,, temmy has resign, disty will be resign too from my offices, and than my other friend become diligent to find the other job.. hukz... if they go, i will go too... it's a must... i think i must positive thinking that resign will be some brighter than my offices.. buuuuuttt,, why i am so lazy to find another job.. am i feel satisfied with my offices ? i think i am at the comfortable zone.. i must move on.. >.<

ouch no.. the time still point at 4.35.. It's still a long time until 5.30 pm.. i want to go... i feel so bored to work...

My Dream Wedding Tale

WoW, i am on dreaming of a wedding..

I am in love with Batik..

I dreamed about theme a wedding about "go green stop global warming" (I get the quote from handi) and Reduce, Reuse, Recycle (i got the quote from victor) so the invitation will be by sms, email , web, and paper for oldster.

I would my prewedding session, an image of nature. I would love to take photo session on water, at farm town, at the sea with coral, and etc. I like water very much, and also i like a farm since i played farm town at facebook. hohohoho... :D

I would like that my wedding will have 2 dress, that one is mbatik and an else is modern dress ala europe. The "akad" will be mbatik at the church, wandering mbatik at the church will be wonderful. And the reception places is not at the building, hmm but like at Clark Quay at Spore.. uUuw >.< where places is at jakarta ?#%$#^ ho3x...

It's a tale.. So in perfectly i hope a prince that come to me, that charming, handsome, has patient on me, love me very much and want to take me go arround the indonesia, also the world too ^^

And at the honeymoon, my prince take the princess (me^*^) to go to dubai to see the moon.. :) feel in love suddently.. >.< huahahaha...

When will be i gonna married ? >.< Why this post is called my dream wedding tale, bcoz in the reality it will be difficult that inhibited with money, places, and i don't know about another maybe my husband will be and else.. Maybe become idealism more difficult than becomes realistic..

Friday, 20 June the day before today

Friday, after a long time ago not see temmy. I am succesfully invited temmy at permata project, bintaro to join us (agny, me, tiwi, daniel, and kenny) eating lunch at ITC foodcourt.. It's really nice to gathering again. Temmy with his friend (3 programmer + disty QA) came from bintaro and eat lunch at fudcourt itc bsd.. And feel so proud that kenny and daniel, they bring an lunch from home but they want to go out from office to lunch at itc bsd :p We are all chatting and chatting about work. It's real fun.. :)) when the work becomes story, it's real fun can be laughter stuff. but when the work becomes something that routinely, feel so hard.. :D

and then we back to office and work again, after the offices hour i went pre launching teraskota with yuni, nova, ariani, jenny, danik, erna. Some of us make blitz card. Nothing to do at there except to see arround. there is only stands of food. But the promotion is not enough, cann't make us to try. becoz without diskon :D

After that go home with yuni.. and then tell that i have lunch to temmy. She is angry becoz i didn't invite her to join the lunch. and also nova angry too becoz she is not join too. But for nova i think she want to eat her lunch stuff at office becoz at conversation she went out.. i am sorry really regret. its should be i invited ariani, yuni, and nova. i am so sorry for not inviting.. >.<>.<

maybe some other days :)

walking-walking

For the first time, i borrowed the car from my Dad. and take it go to mall. Thx to u bcoz, although it's is difficult for me to use an effort for that. But finally, and actually at the end it's really fun. :)

I spend this day with my friend with watching a movie at puri indah and also djakarta theatre. For the first watch drag me to hell, and then street fighter, the legend of chin mi.. huahahaa.. it's fun. :) Finally, I went to Puri Indah in this morning, to see the new bioskop that larger than before. And then to try sour selly that famous. But actually , i am little bit disappointed because my blitz card cannot used at sour selly. Becoz my binus card, and also blitz card can be used at monday - thursday not friday to sunday.. huuuu.. and also disappointed with bca credit card that only can used one times, cannot more.. :(( fortunately, my friend have mandiri debit that can used at some 21cineplex for "buy 1 get 2" promotion. And one of the cinema at the djakarta theatre. So we are going to djakarta theatre to watch street fighter. But at the djakarta theatre it also an event "Gebyar BCA" makes the places so full of car, but we finally still find an empty carpool.

About the movie, Don't like Drag me to hell and like street fighter very much. Drag me to hell has bad ending. An effort to free from the curse of lamia is failed. The magician woman is dead after waiting the time 40years to meet lamia, it's wasting time. And how come the devil is win >.< what story laarr.. The better from this film that sound and the scene make the audience feel so depressed many times.. And for the street fighter, it good becoz it's tell about a woman that have a kindness, and also strengthness. Joining skill of piano with skill of kungfu.. Make her so nice to be seen. Also i like the message of her father to chin mi, give her a necklake with liontin that can be turn around(berputar). It means that u must to move on when a difficulty comes. And also i like gen , how him give a learn to chin mi.. Dont like bisan very much, really dunt have a heart... his work just killing the people..

At the end, back to home.. >.< although, i really want to midnight startrek at the summarecon mall serpong. But my mom said that i am ungodly, make my friend take me go home. :(( so sad... huaaaa..

aya ya ya.. i am forgot, that at puri i meet maria fransisca. and i newly know that she have give birth a baby girl two weeks ago.. awesomee... congratulations to u.. ;)

1 day @Semarang, but precious

I went to Semarang June, 12 and It's Friday

I arrived @semarang at night and Fany and Yudis, the new bride and groom was waiting for us. And they took us at the mini hotel like wisma @Jalan Randu Sari, back of Pandanaran Street. I checked the room, and take my stuff into the room. And waiting for my friend , christian. Then we going to arround at the Semarang city till drop. From Pondok Daun, Semawis, Top of Semarang like puncak at Jakarta, and then Mesjid Agung Jateng. Also i am look arround Semarang, christian take me to see My Himmat's Friend that live from Semarang and take me to see the familiar school at Semarang, like Cedes, Loyola, Karang Turi, and Kebon Dalem. I got into my room maybe at 12.30am.

And in the saturday morning, i go to with cristian to take the souvenir(mochi at kentangan and lumpia) that i'll bring to Jakarta. Also take many picture @Gang Lombok. Then i played to Christian's home and see their family from his mother and father, his brother, his rabbit, hamster and turtles.. :) Gotchaaa.. so many Life in that home.. hohoho.. :p

After that i back to my room at randusari then i get to ready fot the party at my friend's wedding. I took by chris into MAJT with motorcycle, and late maybe for 10 minutes. But it's ok i can eat the food from Ducking, Sop Iga , Ice Cream, Gordon blue, and also dont forget to take many a lot of pictures there with friends. I meet Inge, my Computer club friends at binus. And after the reception, we (faran, wie, and me) join with inge go to Kampung Laut. Kampung laut is a places that we can eat seafood, we can fishing there, and enjoy the places like a sea. Very recommended to visit Kampung Laut @semarang.

After that i go to Mall Citraland @Semarang too see tike, my friend at campus. Also meet christian too, and then we chit chat at the mall, and then tika take me and friends go to Bandara and back to the Jakarta City.

Thank you all my friend for enjoying my 1 day at semarang :) God bless u all.. ^^

what the day today.. so messy..

wah.. apa yg terjadi dengan diriku hari ini.. bnyk rencana yg gagal krn hal tak terduga..

Pagi2 berangkat ke kantor, spt biasa gue ngantor ke client di kuningan. gue dianter pagi2 ke halte busway di mampang, dan kmdn gue mlanjutkan naes bus transjakarta. Tapi hari ini bus-nya rame bener.. nunggu bus 1 pertama gue ga masuk, bus ke 2 gue paksa masuk krn dah nunggu lama dan telat bgth.. Bisa gilany lg, entah knp hr ini org2 telat semua kali ye.. masa dari 1 halte ke halte berikut, wlo ga ada orang yg keluar tetep aja org berjejel masuk terus.. mate deh..

Entah ga tahu jg, di tengah perjalanan gue eneg berasa pengen muntah.. daripada gue muntah di keramaian akhirny gue keluar di halte berikutny.. yeppp... akhirnya keluar jg isi perut gue.. dan bis itu keringet dingin bgt, perut sakit.. >.<>.< (klo gue pkir, tdi sakit apa yah yg gue rasain.. bingung..) Akhirnya gue telpon nyokap gue, untuk jemput gue baliq.. hikz hikz hikz... tpi lama bgt dtgny.. scr rmh gue di ujung kulon... hik hik.. gue akhirnya better sendiri, duduk di aw situw..

Dan list kegiatan gue hari ini semuanya berantakan... benci bgth..
- janji reunian ma tmn sd pas mkn siang gagal
- kirim spt lewat kantor di ambas/ke kantor gak kesampean


but gue bersyukur banget di saat-saat ky tadi, gue gak pingsan... bener2 gue kuatin.. gue tkut bgt barang2 yg gue pegang ilang smua >.<

Suspect penyebab kejadian tdi ?? gue bingung.. tpi ada beberapa suspect :
- efek penuh sesak di bus transjakarta, djejelin org terus
- isi perut kegoyang2 scr bru mkn pagi, dan bawa bus nya ngerem ngegas gtu..
- efek shari sblmny gue gak mkn malem.. :D (suspect nyokap gue)
- sakit bulanan wanita yg sptnya dtgny mood2an.. (suspect terberat gue)
scr dalam kehidupan gue sbnernya gue perna pingsan skali doank. dan yg gue tahu gue itu sehat bgth.. ;)

but gue skrg ga yakin dgn kesehatan gue sendiri, semenjak gue kerja dan bertamba umur.. >.< seperti ada stamina yg kurang..

whatz..

aku mau bercinta..
bak orang dewasa..

aku mau bercinta..
seperti cinta itu sungguh ada..

aku mau bercinta..
asalkan ada dia..

aku sudah gila..
krn ingin bercinta..

ha.ha.ha....

aku kamu..

kamu..

hidupku rasany hampa..
pikiranku sptnya picik..
sifatku tertutup..
sikapku misterius..
hidupku bebas..
pergaulanku terbatas..
temanku bnyk..
tpi shabat tak ada..

pekerjaan kupunya..
gajiku dapat..
tpi kerjaku tak benar..

keluarga ku ada..
masih lengkap..
tpi ku tak puas..

krn ga ada kamu..
apa krn km ?

kurasa tdak..
penyebabnya krn aku..
seandainya aku bole berkata..
"aku benci diriku.."

hopes

Tuhan, masih sanggupkah aku berdiri tegak dan mengangkat kepala ?

Mengapa dengan diriku ?
seperti merasa sedih..
seperti hidupku tak berarti..
seperti rasanya sepi..
seperti tak berharga..

aku yg ingin dihargai..
aku yg ingin bahagia..
aku yg tak ingin sendirian..
aku yg manja..

ajarilah aku selalu rendah hati..
ajarilah aku selalu belajar..
ajarilah aku untuk bersabar..
ajarilah aku untuk tegar..
ajarilah aku untuk selalu berusaha..

jgn biarkan aku slalu mengeluh..
jgn biarkan aku slalu bersedih..
jgn biarkan aku merasa putus asa..
jgn biarkan aku terkurung..
dalam perasaan yg tak menentu..

aku cuma ingin kamu.. :'(

Tiba2 ingin menulis dgn santai ..

Pengen mengutarakan perasaan tanpa harus berpikir, tanpa harus merasa tertekan, tanpa harus merasa berath. Pokoknya menulis dan menulis yang panjang...

Sanggupkah, spanjang apa yah ??

Hmm.. -berpikir- Entah semakin bertambahnya umur, terasa skali kalo duniaku hanya pekerjaanku. teman2 seakan2 menjadi nomer 2 stlh pekerjaanku. Aku butuh beristirahat dari pekerjaan ku, mari kita mkn siang keluar. Beda sama waktu sekolah dlu. belajar dan berteman sama bobothnya, bahkan menjadi lebi seru berteman. mengobrol saat jam pelajaran, merencanakan jalan-jalan setelah pulang kuliah.

Aku ingin tak terlalu banyak berpikir, just enjoying the time..

Berhari-hari ngutik-ngutik dan ngubek-ngubek facebook. Melihat kehidupan teman-temanku..wah rasanya iriiii.. Ada yg sudah menikah dan punya anak yg lucu, ada yg di luar negri, amerika, aussie, spore.. Sudah pada berpasang2an, sudah pindah kerja beberapa kali.. Rasanya muncul saja perasaan kenapa aku masih sperti ini. Rasanya kehidupan tak berubah, berjalan agak lambath.. dan rasanya yg melaju dgn cepat umurnya saja.. ugh..

Perasaan yg kacauuu.. balauuu sekali... Org lain dari jogya bisa ke jakarta. aku dari pamulang kerja di bsd.. haha.. hanya dalam hitungan beberapa centi di peta.. :))

Status masi jomblo, tanpa ada niat membuka diri untuk orang yg masih ada, masi menunggu sosok baru spt yg lama.. :D

Sepertinya stuck stuck stuck... naek mobil blm bisa.. ke luar negri blm kesampeannn.. masih berjuang keras rajin menabung, bekerja dengan baik, menunggu pangeran dgn kuda putih.. sambil terus menghabiskan waktu time by time..

Tpi sptnya gjala cwe judesnya mulei kluar, scr kerjaan smakin menekan, masi menjomblo, rajin menabung shingga tidak bisa bersenang-senang. menjadi gendut, dan tembem, punya perasaan iri thd lingkungan skitar... Ini spt gejala depresi, hampir putus asa, dan rasanya hampir dipastikan akan merasa sendirian, dan benar menjadi sendirian.. Lonely.. :P

hahaha.. malang bgt sih nasib kuww.. Ayolahhh aku butuh perubahannn nich.. gmna yahhh.. perubahan spt apa ?

Kalo aku bole membenci keluargaku. Aku sungguh membencinya sangat.. Tak ada sosok yg patut dicontoh. i hate that. Untung aku berhasil membentuk figur ku sendiri.. tapi mungkin masih ada yg salah, janggal atau kurang.. Untung jg aku masih memiliki nyokap yg sangat sabar sekali.. baikkk tiap hari selalu mengurus aku dengan baik.. sosok ibu yg luar biasa.. Aku ingin nantinya spt ia tpi dgn versi lebi pintar tentunya.. ^^

Tapi klo disadari ada2 aja sih tmn yg nasib2nya mirip2 gue.. hehe.. masi still single, work, dan feel bored dgn kehidupan ini.. Cia yooo.. mari kita raihhh mimpi qta.. ;)