Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Presence of God

Seems like God bring me to many of thinking lately...

I feel mine very clear. Yesterday after i run through all my problem from january til july 2012.

I feel very depressed around 2 weeks ago, after my friends husband suddenly passed away. Even God take his life without thinking that she should take care her 6 months baby by herself. I feel all heaviness and on that time that you can do just became surrender.

I realize about the law cause of cause and effect in my office nowadays. Since i almost 3 year in my company. First year, i was very good until 1 year later i didn't satisfied with my raise salary, But my boss' become greedy, and my team become lazy to work and it cause one and another unhappy work with the other, and blaming each other for everything that wrong. What i got this year :
1. My programmer eyes pain.
2. One ops resign on January 
3. The other my ops friend got accident, and got many sickness and around 1-2 month didn't come to office.  
4. My programmer resign from the company
5. My friend's husband passed away

I really want to resign from my company, i feel very depressed with my work load and doesn't satisfied with my programmer didn't fixed the bugs. And then realize later my boss always tell that this application is not so good, and ask me to dig the others. Later on everything is not so good no system, everything become unclear. And all the thing my boss do all that lonely, and he become cannot remind anything.

oh god, the law of cause and effect i feel it very fast here.

After i play badminton, i feel i can see everything clearly, and after learn Chinese i can hear clearly.
I can feel my work become better.

When i feel depressed, i look for to my surrounding and i feel it that many people have their own problem, but when i take a look somebody that older and singaporean they have problem more heavy. And i'm become very sad, cannot help anything til i told my friend. Until i told to my friends, and my friend said what is the continuation. O ya, that time i just can be silent. I should look for money to help people surround me.

Until i go to the Langkawi yesterday, i feel very free. Nature is very simple, it never expect you many thing. I feel presence of God here. :)
Some might say that my boss is perfectionism, you should realize everything that created by human is not perfect.

And too bad my family got the impact, my madness :)) And now i really want to make them happy... 
First year in spore i work hard to perform in office
Second year in spore i work hard to be slim
Third year in spore i'm should learning Chinese

If you stay in the city. It will not never fair, city is created by human. If you look for fairness take a look to the nature, or inside to your self, and God. And you need to find another part of your soulmate to complete you.. Suddenly very narcism i can say this one. :p

Again, we should love our job, but never trust your bosses. Because they also a human!!
Just trust ur god, and please lead me god..



Sunday, July 08, 2012

new me^^

Hi,

Thanks God. For happiness you gave to me. A light for me on this year, after many failure now i can accept all, and improve me a lot.

Thank for anybody that there for me. Now i'm really thankful for all that i have,
1.  Break up from my routine activity.
My high effort to break up my routine activity with my flatmate friends. I usually busy with them for saturday and sunday, and busy to meet the other friend that visit singapore. Now i try to do not care about it, and try to focus with my life.  Forget a moment about kindness, because somehow future more important for me now.
2. Difficulty in English
My company friends already tired with my english skill is not getting improve. But dont not why hope to learn Chinese its really make my english become better. This is like miracle when i realize that my english is improved. Previously i always think that i try to translate from my brain, but now the way i speak i dont need translate anymore. Its like magic!
3. Learn Chinese
I decide to learn chinese, because i really want to understand chinese so can speak chinese with my company friends.
4. Relationship with office friends
 Now i really feel closed with office friend. This is really friendship. But dunno this is become better or not. How come company is like friendship. Cant imagine !! still blur....  That's awesome that i can have a real singaporean and malaysia friends. Its really real friendship. Thanks God! Hope this is make me want to stay at singapore.:)
5. Open mind to learn about God more.
Dunno why, i can join the lesson that requested from my boss related about god. I'm still doing it.

Thanks God for the oppurtunity. Now  i hope i can improve myself become better and better.
1. Know god better
2. Learn chinese better
3. Work improve
4. Management Time and Priority and  Focus!