What i want, what i need.. me too usual..

Realizing, that my blog all the content about hope, and grumble..Seems that i write the blog when i feel abstract.. Where am I now ? as quality human ?

I don't know where i am.. what i feel.. Like live just for live till the time ends.. What things that supposed i do, just need to make my parent proud.. That's all..

What supposed i do for myself ? still nothing, only walk arround.. i dont have a dream.. When i see arround, my friend learn mandarin, take S2, other take many vacation, my roommate get the scholarship to Netherland.. For me, after move on to singapore still feeling nonexistent..

I don't have any idea, what supposed i do.. Really dunno.. God, what should i do ? Give me the spirit! Spirit come come come.. I want to die.. Really not wisee.. :'(

Why, i always try becomes kind.. unruly.. Don't ask why.. but How..

:) Keep Smile

Considering today as horrible day

I just feeling afraid, everyday when i go to office.. Just thinking what will happen today..

Just feeling like that useless to recruit me or not, because there is no benefit for the company.. But need to be thanksful for being lucky, can work here and see many kind people.. Althought if my probation will not succeed, but need to be positive.. The first one should i do is taking an english course, and speak english.. What is me? seonggok manusia bodoh yg suka melakukan hal bodoh.. Today, my card to go in the office is lost, Today is Salary day. Likes the time this is the end, you dont need to work anymore.. HuHuHuuuuUuuuuuuuuuu... T.T - I hope this is only my negative thinking..

And then, my family again.. why problem never ends, i just calling my mother today.. Like she is so stress :( because of my brother is easily to be angry.. His wife is sick, and still dont know what ill that she have.. Life becomes not easy.. God, Mother Mary just need you to protect my family..

Why my family, like have many disaster. All have a problem becomes family, didn't want to make family... :'( But, so owe see the family that happy with kids..

Today is really bad day, but keep me strong God.. Dont let me becomes down, i want to be someone.. Please let me became someone that have character..

me, gundah

Aku ingin menangis malam ini..

Thank you for being there for me. Although i know, that your life is harder than me. Your load that you should assure more heavy than me.. But truly, my gratitude that you really care to me, although sometimes i talk rush to you.. Hope you and your family will be on alright.

Somebody out there, where are you. Do you like me or not. Why are you do nothing? why? Do i really ignore you ? :D

Somebody from my memories, sometimes i remember about you. i just want to at least same to you. i don't like more weak than you. Althought it's seems like that.

God, give me a chance.. I want to be survivor..

There is not perfect life, perfect company, perfect soulmate, perfect family.. Please be realistic..

I am really sorry, that i am not kind..