Efek umur terhadap kehidupan kamu

Hu.hu.hu Entah knp stlh sperempat abad, dan setelah kerja selama 2 tahun. Aku merasa ada yg berbeda. Dari sisi stamina, gairah kerja, dll.. Why happen with my body ? seperti mudah lelah. mudah masuk angin. uda ga tahan lg makan pedas2. merasa malas aka jenuh. hu.hu.hu.. saia sedang beradaptasi dengan pekerjaan baru, yg sptny akan melelahkan.. like work hard play hard. tapi merasa blm bisa menyesuaikan diri dengan baik.. smoga esok akan lebih baik.. -amin- give a strength god, please.. i dunt have enough motivation for working.. uoOoo >.<

Friday, 11 September

This Afternoon at the offices.. i am feel so sooo stupid... feel so lazy too.. feel guilty too.. feel so sad too.. how come this feeling always be with me..

i feel so stupid becoz of my work for my project task.. i am work the project lately becoz i feel that this project without implement, and the new programmer make me use more effort.. huh..

i feel so lazy becoz of this is friday.. the day before saturday.. the day that my offices treat the employee at hanamasa.. hohoho.. and also one week before holiday (lebaran mode ON).. cann't wait till the dinner timeeee... :D

and alsooo i feel guilty becoz of mine is so freaky... i have waste the money ... my thr is gone gone gone... hua :'( i am sorry to my family, that i am to freaky for wasting the money for stuff or for food... i feel free a little when i say to my friend... how come the money is so fast become empty.. :D

and damnnn, today i realize that people at the office realize something for the first day after the holiday... arrghhh.. i hope that i can absent for the day, but my boss cann't let me absent bcoz the other people celebrate lebaran and i am not.. and then i hope that all the people absent, so the office will be a few people.... waaa.. but i hate there is people make other realize... >.< when the day, there will be somebody dun me... maybe my boss.. hoho..

i am so sad.. that realize that the topic at the lunch make me sad. that my friends will be gone awayy... hiks,, temmy has resign, disty will be resign too from my offices, and than my other friend become diligent to find the other job.. hukz... if they go, i will go too... it's a must... i think i must positive thinking that resign will be some brighter than my offices.. buuuuuttt,, why i am so lazy to find another job.. am i feel satisfied with my offices ? i think i am at the comfortable zone.. i must move on.. >.<

ouch no.. the time still point at 4.35.. It's still a long time until 5.30 pm.. i want to go... i feel so bored to work...

My Dream Wedding Tale

WoW, i am on dreaming of a wedding..

I am in love with Batik..

I dreamed about theme a wedding about "go green stop global warming" (I get the quote from handi) and Reduce, Reuse, Recycle (i got the quote from victor) so the invitation will be by sms, email , web, and paper for oldster.

I would my prewedding session, an image of nature. I would love to take photo session on water, at farm town, at the sea with coral, and etc. I like water very much, and also i like a farm since i played farm town at facebook. hohohoho... :D

I would like that my wedding will have 2 dress, that one is mbatik and an else is modern dress ala europe. The "akad" will be mbatik at the church, wandering mbatik at the church will be wonderful. And the reception places is not at the building, hmm but like at Clark Quay at Spore.. uUuw >.< where places is at jakarta ?#%$#^ ho3x...

It's a tale.. So in perfectly i hope a prince that come to me, that charming, handsome, has patient on me, love me very much and want to take me go arround the indonesia, also the world too ^^

And at the honeymoon, my prince take the princess (me^*^) to go to dubai to see the moon.. :) feel in love suddently.. >.< huahahaha...

When will be i gonna married ? >.< Why this post is called my dream wedding tale, bcoz in the reality it will be difficult that inhibited with money, places, and i don't know about another maybe my husband will be and else.. Maybe become idealism more difficult than becomes realistic..

Friday, 20 June the day before today

Friday, after a long time ago not see temmy. I am succesfully invited temmy at permata project, bintaro to join us (agny, me, tiwi, daniel, and kenny) eating lunch at ITC foodcourt.. It's really nice to gathering again. Temmy with his friend (3 programmer + disty QA) came from bintaro and eat lunch at fudcourt itc bsd.. And feel so proud that kenny and daniel, they bring an lunch from home but they want to go out from office to lunch at itc bsd :p We are all chatting and chatting about work. It's real fun.. :)) when the work becomes story, it's real fun can be laughter stuff. but when the work becomes something that routinely, feel so hard.. :D

and then we back to office and work again, after the offices hour i went pre launching teraskota with yuni, nova, ariani, jenny, danik, erna. Some of us make blitz card. Nothing to do at there except to see arround. there is only stands of food. But the promotion is not enough, cann't make us to try. becoz without diskon :D

After that go home with yuni.. and then tell that i have lunch to temmy. She is angry becoz i didn't invite her to join the lunch. and also nova angry too becoz she is not join too. But for nova i think she want to eat her lunch stuff at office becoz at conversation she went out.. i am sorry really regret. its should be i invited ariani, yuni, and nova. i am so sorry for not inviting.. >.<>.<

maybe some other days :)

walking-walking

For the first time, i borrowed the car from my Dad. and take it go to mall. Thx to u bcoz, although it's is difficult for me to use an effort for that. But finally, and actually at the end it's really fun. :)

I spend this day with my friend with watching a movie at puri indah and also djakarta theatre. For the first watch drag me to hell, and then street fighter, the legend of chin mi.. huahahaa.. it's fun. :) Finally, I went to Puri Indah in this morning, to see the new bioskop that larger than before. And then to try sour selly that famous. But actually , i am little bit disappointed because my blitz card cannot used at sour selly. Becoz my binus card, and also blitz card can be used at monday - thursday not friday to sunday.. huuuu.. and also disappointed with bca credit card that only can used one times, cannot more.. :(( fortunately, my friend have mandiri debit that can used at some 21cineplex for "buy 1 get 2" promotion. And one of the cinema at the djakarta theatre. So we are going to djakarta theatre to watch street fighter. But at the djakarta theatre it also an event "Gebyar BCA" makes the places so full of car, but we finally still find an empty carpool.

About the movie, Don't like Drag me to hell and like street fighter very much. Drag me to hell has bad ending. An effort to free from the curse of lamia is failed. The magician woman is dead after waiting the time 40years to meet lamia, it's wasting time. And how come the devil is win >.< what story laarr.. The better from this film that sound and the scene make the audience feel so depressed many times.. And for the street fighter, it good becoz it's tell about a woman that have a kindness, and also strengthness. Joining skill of piano with skill of kungfu.. Make her so nice to be seen. Also i like the message of her father to chin mi, give her a necklake with liontin that can be turn around(berputar). It means that u must to move on when a difficulty comes. And also i like gen , how him give a learn to chin mi.. Dont like bisan very much, really dunt have a heart... his work just killing the people..

At the end, back to home.. >.< although, i really want to midnight startrek at the summarecon mall serpong. But my mom said that i am ungodly, make my friend take me go home. :(( so sad... huaaaa..

aya ya ya.. i am forgot, that at puri i meet maria fransisca. and i newly know that she have give birth a baby girl two weeks ago.. awesomee... congratulations to u.. ;)

1 day @Semarang, but precious

I went to Semarang June, 12 and It's Friday

I arrived @semarang at night and Fany and Yudis, the new bride and groom was waiting for us. And they took us at the mini hotel like wisma @Jalan Randu Sari, back of Pandanaran Street. I checked the room, and take my stuff into the room. And waiting for my friend , christian. Then we going to arround at the Semarang city till drop. From Pondok Daun, Semawis, Top of Semarang like puncak at Jakarta, and then Mesjid Agung Jateng. Also i am look arround Semarang, christian take me to see My Himmat's Friend that live from Semarang and take me to see the familiar school at Semarang, like Cedes, Loyola, Karang Turi, and Kebon Dalem. I got into my room maybe at 12.30am.

And in the saturday morning, i go to with cristian to take the souvenir(mochi at kentangan and lumpia) that i'll bring to Jakarta. Also take many picture @Gang Lombok. Then i played to Christian's home and see their family from his mother and father, his brother, his rabbit, hamster and turtles.. :) Gotchaaa.. so many Life in that home.. hohoho.. :p

After that i back to my room at randusari then i get to ready fot the party at my friend's wedding. I took by chris into MAJT with motorcycle, and late maybe for 10 minutes. But it's ok i can eat the food from Ducking, Sop Iga , Ice Cream, Gordon blue, and also dont forget to take many a lot of pictures there with friends. I meet Inge, my Computer club friends at binus. And after the reception, we (faran, wie, and me) join with inge go to Kampung Laut. Kampung laut is a places that we can eat seafood, we can fishing there, and enjoy the places like a sea. Very recommended to visit Kampung Laut @semarang.

After that i go to Mall Citraland @Semarang too see tike, my friend at campus. Also meet christian too, and then we chit chat at the mall, and then tika take me and friends go to Bandara and back to the Jakarta City.

Thank you all my friend for enjoying my 1 day at semarang :) God bless u all.. ^^

what the day today.. so messy..

wah.. apa yg terjadi dengan diriku hari ini.. bnyk rencana yg gagal krn hal tak terduga..

Pagi2 berangkat ke kantor, spt biasa gue ngantor ke client di kuningan. gue dianter pagi2 ke halte busway di mampang, dan kmdn gue mlanjutkan naes bus transjakarta. Tapi hari ini bus-nya rame bener.. nunggu bus 1 pertama gue ga masuk, bus ke 2 gue paksa masuk krn dah nunggu lama dan telat bgth.. Bisa gilany lg, entah knp hr ini org2 telat semua kali ye.. masa dari 1 halte ke halte berikut, wlo ga ada orang yg keluar tetep aja org berjejel masuk terus.. mate deh..

Entah ga tahu jg, di tengah perjalanan gue eneg berasa pengen muntah.. daripada gue muntah di keramaian akhirny gue keluar di halte berikutny.. yeppp... akhirnya keluar jg isi perut gue.. dan bis itu keringet dingin bgt, perut sakit.. >.<>.< (klo gue pkir, tdi sakit apa yah yg gue rasain.. bingung..) Akhirnya gue telpon nyokap gue, untuk jemput gue baliq.. hikz hikz hikz... tpi lama bgt dtgny.. scr rmh gue di ujung kulon... hik hik.. gue akhirnya better sendiri, duduk di aw situw..

Dan list kegiatan gue hari ini semuanya berantakan... benci bgth..
- janji reunian ma tmn sd pas mkn siang gagal
- kirim spt lewat kantor di ambas/ke kantor gak kesampean


but gue bersyukur banget di saat-saat ky tadi, gue gak pingsan... bener2 gue kuatin.. gue tkut bgt barang2 yg gue pegang ilang smua >.<

Suspect penyebab kejadian tdi ?? gue bingung.. tpi ada beberapa suspect :
- efek penuh sesak di bus transjakarta, djejelin org terus
- isi perut kegoyang2 scr bru mkn pagi, dan bawa bus nya ngerem ngegas gtu..
- efek shari sblmny gue gak mkn malem.. :D (suspect nyokap gue)
- sakit bulanan wanita yg sptnya dtgny mood2an.. (suspect terberat gue)
scr dalam kehidupan gue sbnernya gue perna pingsan skali doank. dan yg gue tahu gue itu sehat bgth.. ;)

but gue skrg ga yakin dgn kesehatan gue sendiri, semenjak gue kerja dan bertamba umur.. >.< seperti ada stamina yg kurang..

whatz..

aku mau bercinta..
bak orang dewasa..

aku mau bercinta..
seperti cinta itu sungguh ada..

aku mau bercinta..
asalkan ada dia..

aku sudah gila..
krn ingin bercinta..

ha.ha.ha....

aku kamu..

kamu..

hidupku rasany hampa..
pikiranku sptnya picik..
sifatku tertutup..
sikapku misterius..
hidupku bebas..
pergaulanku terbatas..
temanku bnyk..
tpi shabat tak ada..

pekerjaan kupunya..
gajiku dapat..
tpi kerjaku tak benar..

keluarga ku ada..
masih lengkap..
tpi ku tak puas..

krn ga ada kamu..
apa krn km ?

kurasa tdak..
penyebabnya krn aku..
seandainya aku bole berkata..
"aku benci diriku.."

hopes

Tuhan, masih sanggupkah aku berdiri tegak dan mengangkat kepala ?

Mengapa dengan diriku ?
seperti merasa sedih..
seperti hidupku tak berarti..
seperti rasanya sepi..
seperti tak berharga..

aku yg ingin dihargai..
aku yg ingin bahagia..
aku yg tak ingin sendirian..
aku yg manja..

ajarilah aku selalu rendah hati..
ajarilah aku selalu belajar..
ajarilah aku untuk bersabar..
ajarilah aku untuk tegar..
ajarilah aku untuk selalu berusaha..

jgn biarkan aku slalu mengeluh..
jgn biarkan aku slalu bersedih..
jgn biarkan aku merasa putus asa..
jgn biarkan aku terkurung..
dalam perasaan yg tak menentu..

aku cuma ingin kamu.. :'(

Tiba2 ingin menulis dgn santai ..

Pengen mengutarakan perasaan tanpa harus berpikir, tanpa harus merasa tertekan, tanpa harus merasa berath. Pokoknya menulis dan menulis yang panjang...

Sanggupkah, spanjang apa yah ??

Hmm.. -berpikir- Entah semakin bertambahnya umur, terasa skali kalo duniaku hanya pekerjaanku. teman2 seakan2 menjadi nomer 2 stlh pekerjaanku. Aku butuh beristirahat dari pekerjaan ku, mari kita mkn siang keluar. Beda sama waktu sekolah dlu. belajar dan berteman sama bobothnya, bahkan menjadi lebi seru berteman. mengobrol saat jam pelajaran, merencanakan jalan-jalan setelah pulang kuliah.

Aku ingin tak terlalu banyak berpikir, just enjoying the time..

Berhari-hari ngutik-ngutik dan ngubek-ngubek facebook. Melihat kehidupan teman-temanku..wah rasanya iriiii.. Ada yg sudah menikah dan punya anak yg lucu, ada yg di luar negri, amerika, aussie, spore.. Sudah pada berpasang2an, sudah pindah kerja beberapa kali.. Rasanya muncul saja perasaan kenapa aku masih sperti ini. Rasanya kehidupan tak berubah, berjalan agak lambath.. dan rasanya yg melaju dgn cepat umurnya saja.. ugh..

Perasaan yg kacauuu.. balauuu sekali... Org lain dari jogya bisa ke jakarta. aku dari pamulang kerja di bsd.. haha.. hanya dalam hitungan beberapa centi di peta.. :))

Status masi jomblo, tanpa ada niat membuka diri untuk orang yg masih ada, masi menunggu sosok baru spt yg lama.. :D

Sepertinya stuck stuck stuck... naek mobil blm bisa.. ke luar negri blm kesampeannn.. masih berjuang keras rajin menabung, bekerja dengan baik, menunggu pangeran dgn kuda putih.. sambil terus menghabiskan waktu time by time..

Tpi sptnya gjala cwe judesnya mulei kluar, scr kerjaan smakin menekan, masi menjomblo, rajin menabung shingga tidak bisa bersenang-senang. menjadi gendut, dan tembem, punya perasaan iri thd lingkungan skitar... Ini spt gejala depresi, hampir putus asa, dan rasanya hampir dipastikan akan merasa sendirian, dan benar menjadi sendirian.. Lonely.. :P

hahaha.. malang bgt sih nasib kuww.. Ayolahhh aku butuh perubahannn nich.. gmna yahhh.. perubahan spt apa ?

Kalo aku bole membenci keluargaku. Aku sungguh membencinya sangat.. Tak ada sosok yg patut dicontoh. i hate that. Untung aku berhasil membentuk figur ku sendiri.. tapi mungkin masih ada yg salah, janggal atau kurang.. Untung jg aku masih memiliki nyokap yg sangat sabar sekali.. baikkk tiap hari selalu mengurus aku dengan baik.. sosok ibu yg luar biasa.. Aku ingin nantinya spt ia tpi dgn versi lebi pintar tentunya.. ^^

Tapi klo disadari ada2 aja sih tmn yg nasib2nya mirip2 gue.. hehe.. masi still single, work, dan feel bored dgn kehidupan ini.. Cia yooo.. mari kita raihhh mimpi qta.. ;)

Kalut

kalut gue skrg..

hate this feeling..

ktika gue brasa butuh,,

tpi it's should not to call him.

but feel need to dependent..

It's hard..

complicated..

i am sorry i am not commit..

really sorry..

rapuh..

feel lbi tenang.. sdkit..

Are you ready for 2009 ?

Am I ready for 2009 ?

Again, year 2008 passed by and changed to be 2009.. But every year have an issue, last year i remembered that price for gasoline is up. Issue this year is ressesion that happened at America, will be joined by another country. And will be sorely at the middle 2009 at Indonesia.

Changes

Changes will be happen to with my office.. Like usual the structure will be changed again, likes habit every year.. But the changes i think so will be very different for my position. Between i will be moved from jakarta to Bali, or i will moved to others position with another boss. I have enjoyed with my boss for one year three months..

UuuuW.. added by many my friends will be moved on to another. They are still work at my company, but will be moved to client, 1 of my friend will be moved to Permata, and another will be moved to Bank Indonesia. And i dont know about destiny of anothers..

aghh.. so boreeeddd.. to know that adaptation will be my journey again.. ugh.. what happen to me ? like i am so old.. and feel lazy to changes againn.. uUuuu.. so terrible.. About my dreammmmm, huaaaaa i hate i feel i am not ready for do that at 2009. But remembered still 12 month until the end of 2009.. still hoping.. *praying*

so hopeeeee, that i will prepare for 2009.. New hopes, new effort, new me.. that i must be do is more patient to do everything.. not hurry-hurry.. :))

enough.. enough.. i want to enjoy my time.. it's stop. Another time i write again. bubye.

enw, Welcome to 2009, Happy New Year All, have the best for all...